Skies of Gray
by Spooky4ever
Summary: They were supposed to have forever. He wasn't supposed to be locked away. But Akito-san, that fickle thing, changed her mind and took away their sunshine. And now, now they are both broken beyond repair, left with nothing but dreams. Kyoru three-shot
1. Grief

_Disclaimer: _Dear readers, I cannot draw to save my life. I can't even draw stick peoples. How can I own a manga series if I can't draw hmmm? yeah, that's I thought. I also do not own You Are My Sunshine.

_Rating: _PG

_Pairing/Characters: _Kyoru. Tohru and Kyo.

**AN: **This is slightly AU because basically any events after volume 21 are disreguarded. The curse isn't broken, Akii changes her mind about imprisoning Kyo, and our love birds don't get around to professing their love like Natsuki-san has it go (not that I have any problems with that or anything...). ALSO: though I use Norman Blake's lyrics I prefer Sara Hickman's version SO if you choose to listen to You Are My Sunshine whilst reading I'd go with her.

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Skies of Gray

_The other night dear, as I lay sleeping  
I dreamed I held you in my arms  
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken  
So I hung my head and I cried_

"I miss you," she whispered. At least she thought she whispered, but in the terrifyingly silent room, the only other sound being the pitter of rain against the window pane, it sounded as if she shouted to the heavens. In the passing months she had quickly come to hate the silence. This house used to always be noisy, always busy and amusing and _full. _

But the house has been very quiet for the past eight months.

She shuddered and curled into herself, hoping to create more warmth underneath the soft sheets. However, the act proved to be futile. She was _still _cold, frozen in fact. The whole room was frigid. Empty. Lifeless. _Lonely._ And like her heart was in a clamp she felt it squeeze painfully, barely squelching the sob that had been trying to make its way up her throat.

It felt as if she were a stranger in her own home. Or maybe more like a lost girl in a strange house. This place, it hasn't been the same since he-_No! _She thought desperately. _I must not think of him…_even though she knew it was hopeless. No matter how much she wished it she could not erase him from her heart. He was too tangled within, too woven into every available nook and cranny her big heart held.

Still she tried to think of something else, anything to keep her mind off of him. She wondered how Yuki was doing at the university; how Momiji and Hatsuharu were doing with the school's cultural festival; how Uo-chan was fairing with her new job; Shigure-sans novel…The rain suddenly picked up, startling her from her thoughts as the unexpected typhoon rocked the house. It was strange to get one so late in season. Tohru listened as the rain sped up its methodic tempo into a frantic beat. _It must be raining cats and-_

Cats. The word rang in her head, reverberating around her fondest (_painful_) memories. Cat. And just like that, a harmless, innocent word thought without hesitation ripped down the delicate wall she had so painstakingly held up since April. Across her vacant brown eyes danced flashes of orange and tiny smiles; soft fur and rancorous fights; rooftop sunsets and games of Dai Hin Min; clouds of orange smoke and feral red eyes…

Tohru didn't fight against the rush of memories. For once, she broke and let them play out, relishing each one, fighting as they slipped through her fingers like water. Like how _he _slipped through her fingers. And Kami-sama did it _hurt_. It hurt to see his glowing face smile at her from the shadows of her mind. It ached to hear his phantom laugh. But it made her feel better a bit. Helped remind her he was still there, in her heart. He hadn't been completely locked away from her.

But still it _hurt_ so damn much.

She lay still as death on her bed. Her breath shuddered as she tried to keep it all in. Fingers tangled in her silken brown locks, nails digging into her scalp. She couldn't let anything out. She couldn't. Because if she did it meant that she had broken her promise and Honda Tohru kept her promises. Keeping it in meant this was all just a really really bad dream and if she waited long enough she would finally wake up and Kyo would be-

No! Nonononono! His name! Oh his _name_. It was out. She thought his name! There was no holding it in now.

For the first time in eight months (_since April 3__rd__, I haven't cried since that day_) she last cried. At first it started out slow. The tears streamed down her cheeks, hot and wet, and unstoppable. Her shoulders shook, hands trembled as she pulled the covers tighter over her tiny body. She thought maybe she could rein it in if she cried only a little.

She was wrong.

Only minutes later did it morph into choked, desperate sobs. Heartbreaking whimpers escaped unbidden past her lips, the tears flowed harder, almost matching the torrential storm outside. She wanted to stop, but she couldn't. _It's not fair. Not fair at all! It wasn't supposed to be this way…Kyo-kun is supposed to be here! With __**me!**_

Akito-san…Akito-san had granted Kyo pardon from his fate-the Cat House. She had been so happy, so overwhelmingly joyful to hear that she no longer had _fivemonths_, _fourmonths, twomonths, onemonth_, _**notime**_, left with Kyo. In fact she had been granted a whole lifetime. It had been the miracle she wasn't counting on. Graduation had been welcomed with open arms and relieved sighs and quick secret glances that made both blush fiercely. The curse was still there, but it didn't matter because Kyo was free.

But it didn't last.

Because Akito-san changed her mind less than a month later (_April 3__rd__…_) and on a peaceful morning (they had been making rice balls. Kyo-kun had just gotten back from his morning run and Tohru had been waiting for him in the kitchen. They had been laughing and he was flicking rice at her head playfully and she had squealed shamelessly and it had been so _perfect_ until Hatori-san's car pulled up.) came for Kyo unexpectedly, barely giving them time for a proper (_notenoughtime_) goodbye.

Wave after wave after wave of tears flowed. The brown haired girls crying had become embarrassingly loud and she was now weeping into her downy pillow, trying to muffle her pain. Their goodbye had been too rushed, too fast and she had barely any time to think. Mind chaotic, she had stood numbly (shaking) in the kitchen as the nightmare tore apart her reality. She hadn't snapped out of it till Kyo was being dragged out of the house (hardly packed anything), not yelling but…

She had flown from the kitchen. She ignored Yuki's cries and Hatori's surprised look and flung herself at Kyo, hardly caring that Akito was watching with impatient disgust. Chests a breath away from touching, she found some unknown courage (and totally unTohru-like behavior) and swiftly captured his lips in was most likely the sloppiest, emotion driven, desperate kiss either would ever receive.

Despite the way their teeth clacked and how hard Kyo gripped her and how she had _no idea_ as to what she was supposed to do, it had been wonderful. And then he was gone-ripped from her weak desperate hands and forced to a place he was suppose to be free from. The last words he said to her were to not cry, to please please not cry for him.

She had _promised_ and she failed him. She failed him again and now she was alone. Again.

When was she going to stop crying? She had tried so valiantly to endure. Smiling every day; singing cheerfully as she did the laundry; hanging with her friends; cooking for the Sohma's; she kept right on going, acting like everything was alright. It seemed she had been doing great.

_**Liar. You weren't**_.

But each day became harder. Each time someone almost let his name slip or she walked past his room it felt like she was suffocating. Each day that slowly dragged on, making her wonder how Kyo was doing…

The tears were never going to stop were they? Would people ever stop leaving her?

"I thought I told you not to cry, stupid," a hauntingly familiar voice rumbled in her ear. She froze, aware of the warm body that had suddenly appeared in her bed. Right next her. Pressed to her side. Another sob erupted from her. _This can't be real_.

"Tohru…god Tohru I'm sorry," the voice sighed, tired and strained. "Please stop. You know I can't stand to see you cry," it begged. _It can't be real! It can't be real! _The figured sighed, his warm breath teasing her neck as it flittered across sensitive skin. She didn't dare look behind her, afraid the apparition (because it couldn't be real!) would disappear and she'd be alone again.

Tohru was tired of being alone.

"Come on, look at me Tohru. I've, I've missed you," the voice admitted painfully. And that voice, so familiar and comforting and sounding so very real, tugged at her heart, her soul. She couldn't resist. She never could.

Slowly, so excruciatingly slowly, she turned her head behind her, fervently hoping the figure wouldn't vanish. Her breath caught in her throat, brown eyes widened in shock, "Kyo…-kun," the name came out strangled and hoarse.

Kami-sama he was _there_. He was really here! In the dim lighting she could make out his rebellious orange hair, the sharp angels of his handsome face, and those devastating crimson eyes shadowed by a fringe of fiery strands. It was her Kyo. _Is it really? _She took in a deep breath and caught a whiff of spice, sweat, and something sweet (cinnamon, her mind supplied. Kyo-kun sometimes smelt like cinnamon) and her heart _knew _it was him.

"It-it's you," she breathed out in wonder filled relief. And then she broke. This was all so much. Overwhelming. Instantly she found herself spooned into his strong arms, her head tucked gently under his chin and his rough hands grasping madly at the fabric of her nightshirt. The bed sheet between them prevented the transformation, so she hugged him as tightly as her feeble strength allowed.

"God Tohru," Kyo mumbled into her hair, "it's unbelievably great to see you." she only nodded, afraid only frantic babbling would spill from her mouth unlike the words she truly wanted to say. He pulled away a bit, but not too far, she wasn't letting go of him ever again, and tilted her head up. Staring into his vivid eyes, seeing the cock-sure flame in them, she knew that this had to be real. Her fire, the thing that kept her warm, and safe, and happy, was burning brightly next to her. Kyo must have escaped the House and came here to find her and now they would be together. She pointedly ignored the whispers of doubt in her mind, the ones pointing out that he wasn't wet despite the rain and how did he get in here exactly?

_No,_ she thought firmly. _No more thinking_. He frowned suddenly, and her heart caught with worry.

"I made you cry. God I'm the stupid one," he muttered angrily. She shook her head, a smile wobbling on her pale, tear streaked face.

"It's ok! It's ok Kyo-kun! I just missed Kyo-kun so much! But now I am happy again because you are here! With me," she said this a bit shyly, feeling a well-known flush creep across her cheeks. His face softened a bit, but he still scoffed at her.

"We must both be idiots," he murmured and before she could comprehend what he meant he claimed her lips with his. She went rigid for a moment, taken off guard by the suddenness, but quickly fell into sync with him. This kiss was slower, more tender and loving than their first. It sent a pleasant tingle down her spine, radiating out to the rest of her body. Slowly a wave of warmth washed over her, soothing some of the numbness she previously felt.

He deepened it, tongue dancing across her lips as she continued to follow his lead, unsure of what to do but trusting him completely. After all this was Kyo-kun and he'd never intentionally hurt her. And then things moved faster and faster. Hands roaming everywhere, mouths hungrily tasting each other, broken whispers, and kissed away tears. His kisses were trailing down her neck, hot and gentle and teasing, searing her senses and chasing away the dreaded cold that had sunk into her bones.

Too fast too fast! Her mind chided her but it never screamed stop and she allowed it to continue, relishing every touch and the taste of him, how his fingers teasingly wander up and down her stomach. His mouth left her collarbone and she tried not to groan at the loss of warmth. It found its way to her ear, just lingering there as his warm breath tickled it. "Tohru…" it whispered raggedly…

And her eyes snapped open. The rain was still pounding at her window incessantly. She was even colder than before though her face was warm and wet with tears. She sprung up and frantically searched her bed. No one was there, but the sheets were rumpled. Had he been here? Did she fall asleep and he just left for food or the bathroom? The sheets were cold but rumpled, that had to mean something right? Tohru was grasping at straws, desperately desperately hoping…_it had to be real! It couldn't have been a dream! It was so real!_

Her thought process an incoherent, frantic jumbled mess (stuck on realrealrealreal it had to be!) she stumbled out of bed, kicking at the sheet twisted around her legs, and dashed out of her room.

Her feet slapped loudly against the wooden floor (so loud in this quiet house, but it won't be any longer right?) as she fled down the hall, turning corners she knew so well until she was in front of his door. She didn't allow a moments hesitation as she flung open the door and staggered into the room.

"KYO-!" she cried out, "-kun…" trailed the broken whisper.

_No_. Anguished. Tortured. Grief-stricken. _No...._

His room was empty, just as barren and cold as it had been for the past eight damn months. Kyo wasn't here, he had never been here.

She had been dreaming.

It was a wet, cold night, approximately eight months after Sohma Kyo had been sent to the Cat House. For eight long months, Honda Tohru had smiled and laughed and carried on in her optimistic manner, hoping she'd wake up. A few seconds ago she had woken up.

And shattered.

_In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me  
When I awake my poor heart pains.  
So when you come back and make me happy  
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame._

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AN: So I'm back with my latest Fruba installement, hurray! So anywho...Tohru wasn't too OOC was she? I tried to not make her a huge crybaby but it still kind-of felt that way to me. I also tried not to choke you guys with anguish, so let me know if I was too heavy or too light on it mmkay? All mistakes are my own because I tried editing it while watching Bones and am really impatient to get this up SO I have probably missed something. ALSO: the previous title of this was In Our Darkest Hour but I wasn't sure about it. Should I keep Skies of Gray or go back to the first one? K, I'm done now.

Obey the pretty purple button! (please)


	2. Resentment

_Disclaimer: _Almost a year and a half later and I still have not attained Fruits Basket. Woe is me. Damn lawyers.

_Rating:_ PG-13 for some language and slightly suggestive themes

_Characters/Pairings: _Kyo and Dream!Tohru; Kyoru_

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_

_-_Part Two-

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray_

He is in hell.

A frigid, barren hell made up of plain brown walls, worn furniture, and an eternally locked door.

Sohma Kyo would have preferred fire and brimstone over this torture.

Only a year has passed since Akito had thrown away his freedom and he was already going mad. Completely and utterly _mad_. And he has to endure a lifetime of this: dull, long days, cabin fever, his only guest Akito? No, he can't do this.

He _can't_.

The cat grunted in frustration as he collapsed to the unforgiving floor, sweat making his pale skin stick to the wood. He hissed in irritation as he sat back on his knees, hating how his muscles felt like gelatin. His arms were already shaking with exhaustion and he was only on his fifth set of pushups. A few months ago this wouldn't be a problem.

But things inevitably change.

Weary, beaten, and frustrated, Kyo trudged to his half made bed, a ratty mat that he had dragged by the barred window. He was going to have to move it again, for the window was without shutters or a means to seal it and the cold November was growing more bitter and frigid as the days passed. Wouldn't want to get sick right? Kyo snorted cynically, _yeah, what a shame._

He sank down, ignoring the twinges in his joints (rain was coming) as he ran a hand through his too long hair. With equally slow movements (damn he felt like an old man) he laid back and rolled over onto his side, crimson sliding up towards the window in disinterest. It was cloudy. Again. The weather had been dark and generally gloomy for the past week. Kyo cursed at the thought of rain.

For good measure he glared at the darkening sky; the feline part of him really missed the sunshine.

Bright and warm and _comfort_. He missed languidly stretching out on the roof, lazing about on a perfect summer's day as the sun burned above him. He missed its soothing caress on his face, the rays that he would soak up to chase away the rain's deep ache within his bones. He missed the laughter and long, endless afternoons. He missed how her smile could light up a room. He missed her confused bumbling and clueless yet adorable eyes…

Damn, he most definitely was not thinking about the sun anymore. Well, in a way he was, just not in the hot star shining during the daytime sense. Though in his opinion _she_ was brighter then the sun, glorious and brilliant and so painfully far out of his meager reach.

_Tohru…_Kyo thought, his hand absentmindedly rubbing his chest, as if would chase away the throbbing ache her memory produced.

God damn it, he wanted to punch something.

God damn Akito and his god damn lies. Only that bastard would dangle his freedom over his nose and tease him with it, and, after finally handing it over, snatch it away as unexpectedly and swiftly as it had been given. Like his freedom was some god damn _toy_.

Anger, ever familiar and scorching, curdled in his veins: throbbing, uncontrollable, and volatile. Fists shaking and clenched at his scalp, he viciously pulled at the dull strands of sweaty hair. The pain was minimal, but it was sharp and unyielding. It kept him grounded from the rolling rage that demanded he bust down the door, storm from the grounds, and just leave this hellish place once and for all.

But yet it still wasn't enough. He wanted to punch, to grind his hands into skin or stone till his knuckles bled and the bones cracked under the sheer force. He wanted to throw things, wood splintering, glass shattering, feel the strain of abused muscles pulling in his back as he tossed the furniture. He wanted to scream, and holler, and curse till his voice was hoarse and his throat sore and raw. Kyo wanted to destroy, and hurt, and bleed, and just curl up and _die _already because he couldn't. do. this.

_Why?_

He had been so close, had touched the golden fringes of the future, bright yet murky, there but so far away.

_Why? _

But it's gone now. Now there is nothing but four plain walls, dusty floors, and a tiny barred window.

_Why?_

So close. So very close. Gone though. Gone. When he had almost had _her_…

_Damn it WHY?_

And then he had _lost _her too.

Suddenly he is aware of his shuddering breaths and trembling limbs, and utter agony flittering up his arms. Confused crimson blinked open to find total decimation before him. The room had been completely trashed in his mindless wrath. He slumped to the floor, quivering legs no longer keen to support him, but the cat didn't care. His eyes blankly half-focus on his mangled hands, twisted, purple, and freely bleeding. It's torture to flex them, and they flop uselessly in his lap, flaring with each twitch.

Kyo has never felt anything so fantastic.

But then a memory hits him, harder then the pain and with enough force to push a gasp past his dry lips. No, the pain is nothing. Not when compared to her.

Tohru.

He remembers their first (_only_) kiss with vivid clarity, every detail, every sound, and smell, and taste carefully catalogued and stored within his mind. Akito may have stolen everything from him, but not this memory. This alone belongs to Kyo.

He remembers how her teeth accidentally caught his lower lip in her haste, how their noses smashed together, and their teeth clicked, and how he so desperately wanted to pull her closer till they melded together, never to be separated. He remembers how she tasted of mint toothpaste, and bitter tea. The feel of her chapped lips against his, how warm and soft her bare arms were in his hands. He remembers her eyes, watery, and desperate, and devastated, begging him, begging someone, for more time.

He remembers it all. It is both a painful and wonderful thing to keep. Like a beautiful piece of glass that cuts when touched.

Kyo wonders what would have become of them, Tohru and him, opposites with so much between them it would fill the Grand Canyon.

His dreams, tortuous and mocking, gleefully fill in the blanks.

She is always smiling, so pure and carefree. Her long soft hair gleams in the sun and flutters in the wind, ethereal. Her eyes twinkle happily, those brown orbs the warmest shade of milk chocolate. Tohru is unreserved and happy, cheerfully calling his name, arms open, so warm, and there, and simply _Tohru_. She is a starburst to his senses, a flood of heat that chases away the ice of the Cat House.

But sometimes…

Sometimes she is looking up at him, deep brown eyes dark and hidden behind half-lidded lashes, a coy yet inviting smile curling on her face. Those same ethereal locks fan out on her pillow, a stray hair curling around tantalizing collar bone and shoulder. Delicate fingers rake through his hair or trailing down his armsshouldersback, eliciting shivers across his cold flesh. Her head is thrown back, exposing creamy endless neck, as those pink lips form a perfect O as she moans his name.

And then he'd always wake up, her name on his lips, and sweat coating his skin, and the bitter taste of reality chasing away the flavor of her.

This Tohru is the what-could-have-been, still innocent yet teasing, plain but beautiful.

Lust. She is lust; the unattainable entity that tortures him in his sleep, slowing burning him alive, but leaving him just as cold.

Love. She is love; the furnace that makes him feel so _alive_. She was the hope he had given his heart to.

_She _is a dream. Cruel, even as she faded with a gentle smile and cooing "Kyo-kuunn."

His lifeline is killing him.

Kyo chuckled bitterly at the ironic realization, collapsing back on the freezing floor in exhaustion. This was his life now, an empty prison with crazed fits of anger and mocking dreams soaked in sin and love. This is his world while those outside his prison walls grew, and flourished, and loved, and _lived_.

The floor is hard and solid beneath his freezing body, conflicting with the flickering after images of her soft skin and blazing grin. Kyo figures this would be the part where he starts to cry, but he is hollow. Empty, spent from his anger, he lies in his prison of ice as the world moves on. Trapped. Caged. Falling.

_I can't do this_.

Something inside of him finally snaps and withers. The room is dark now, and the mat looks inviting, promises of what was awaiting to hold him. But the cat remains on the floor, bruised, cold, and irrevocably _broken_, both wanting and dreading the vision of her.

He waits for her, his cruel loving angel, to haunt and brighten his dreams once more.

And this time, he hopes, this time he won't wake up.

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you. __Please don't take my sunshine away._

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**AN: **Uuuugh this SHOULD NOT have taken so damn long to finish! I am terribly sorry for the ridiculous delay. I blame it on Kyo, who's anger and bitterness were (for some strange reason) much harder for me to pin down then Tohru's grief. Why? I don't know. All I know is that after trying to weeks I gave up, shelved this for a while and...erm, kind-of forgot about it. -awkward shuffle- In my mind it was sort-of like a one-shot so it was ok to leave it where it was for a while so thats why it didn't keep nagging me. -glares at mind-. AND THEN, after picking this up in the end of July and finally FINISHING IT my piece of shit laptop craps out on me before I could back it up on my flash drive and...yeah. Here we are. FINALLY. I am aware of the tense changes throughout the fic, I tried to correct what I could but I am ridiculously tired and just want this thing posted before I can put it off any more. I'm not completely happy with this chapter, but I feel I've done all that I can do here so I'm sorry if it pales compared to the first chapter.

I do have one more chapter to write and then this story is done. So bear with me please! I can at least swear this thing will be done before the end of the year.

To all of those readers still out there, thank you for your patience and please review!


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